Milo's Quintessential American Restaurant

Well, here we are! The big day. For years upon years this small town boy with big city aspirations has been working to the bone to become an outstanding chef, and my work has finally been rewarded in the form of my very own restaurant! The eating establishment's location, Germany, is a bit of a hike from my college's home in Ohio. This, however, would seem like quite a minuscule thing to complain about. Preparing food for the masses has long been my dream, and in this hypothetical fantasy I've watched hours of Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Meals, endured far too much of Barefoot Contessa, and even began taping Walker, Texas Ranger just for good luck. Now, I'm seemingly only faced with two issues: hiring a full staff (which, frankly, seems like one of those situations that will work itself out), and creating an Americanized menu. All those hungry Germans wouldn't be satisfied with boring German food; they want intriguing, rich, fulfilling meals from the USA! So, without further ado, I proudly introduce my menu of American foods for foreign consumers.

Appetizers

- Chicken Caesar Salad. Seemingly every chain restaurant in America that offers a selection of salads contains a Chicken Caesar Salad somewhere on the menu. My rationale for this being a somewhat American dish is simple; it's a salad (typically a healthier option) that's made unhealthier due to the addition of creamy Caesar dressing. Romaine lettuce is corrupted by the tantalizingly delicious forces of Caesar dressing, croutons, grated Parmesan cheese, and strips of grilled chicken. For better or worse, America is known for it's abundance of creamy, fattening ingredients, and this variation of salad proves that stigma to ring true.

- New England Clam Chowder. Does any soup reign supreme over New England Clam Chowder? "No!", Milo defiantly shouts to nobody in particular, in midst of banging his fist on the desk. Creamy and filled with excellent ingredients such as clams and more clams, New England Clam Chowder both sets an excellent precedent for a notable American region, and leaves an unrelentingly satisfying taste in the stomach of all who have the pleasure of enjoying Chowder-y goodness.

Main Courses

- Chicken Fried Steak. This one is dedicated to lovers of cuisine in Southern areas of the United States. The chicken fried steak, consisting of a piece of steak layered in flour and then fried until irresistible, may significantly lack health benefits, but undeniably contains taste benefits. This unique variation of meat provides an interesting change of pace in the way Americans consume steak, while fully keeping American ideals (such as frying the living bejeezus out of everything in sight) intact. Our forefathers would be proud of this delicious treat!

- Pork Chops and Mashed Potatoes. A combination that seemingly always goes together flawlessly, pork chops with a side dish of mashed potatoes seem pretty American to the average consumer. Pork loin chops don't necessarily need to be fried, which helps the health aspect of the meal out considerably, but still contain that rich, chewy, delightful pork taste. Meanwhile, the mashed potatoes seem American in nature; we take multiple potatoes, blend them all together beyond recognition, add in plenty of milk, butter, and spices, and voila! A fantastic side dish to compliment an American meal.

Dessert

- Apple Pie. Is an explanation really necessary? The phrase "as American as apple pie," has become so frequently used that it would seem to be a glaring mistake to not include this dessert dish on the menu of my new restaurant. With a big dollop of vanilla ice cream on top, this luscious, irresistible meal seems to be the perfect way to cap off an evening of good old fashioned American gluttony. We've spent an evening eating alarmingly unhealthy yet delicious food, so why not finish it with a slice of American apple pie? This could be the one piece to my American restaurant puzzle that keeps the Germans coming back for more of that tantalizing US food.